First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways
First be authentic to become courageous.
First be authentic to become fulfilled.
First be authentic to become wealthy.
Authenticity enriches everything. Faking it is ineffective and emotionally costly.
I’ve made no bones about my intention with this site. I intend to lead a movement for courageous individuals who want to move beyond their fears by and follow their most authentic path.
Authenticity is simply being all of who you are and expressing that highest version of conscious self without reservation. No holding back. No playing small. No hiding. No hesitation to help others find their own way.
My research and work with hundreds of coaching clients over the last ten years has shown that instead of following our most authentic path, most of us compromise and follow a smaller, less risky path.
Do you know what stops you from being authentic?
I’ve identified three key decisions that cause us to follow fear rather than true calling freedom. For years most of us are unaware that we are making these decisions by default. Yet once enlightened we resist the same decisions out of fear.
1). We accept less fulfillment and abundance than we know is possible.
2). We hide parts of who we really are.
3). We shoot for smaller life objectives than we can imagine.
Most all other fears have their roots within these three. Which stops you most often?
If you’re concerned about what others might think it could be a deadly combination of all three.
Fear of looking like a fool will stop you from getting what you want. Egbert Sukop
So which stops you from being authentic the most. Begin there and take a small step towards your true path. You’re calling won’t fully identify itself unless you honor you.
Self-honor begins with the decision to take a small step in the right direction.
1). How could you raise the limits of what you think is possible for your to enjoy?
2). What original quirk or personality aspect could you flaunt for authenticity?
3). What bigger dream could you take one small step towards today?
Take that step. Be authentic first. Be bold. Live the life you were meant to live.
Tagged with: authentic living • being who you are • fear of what others think
Filed under: Authenticity
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After years of personal struggle and work with hundreds of coaching clients, I've come to understand that identifying one's true calling is primarily a spiritual process. Regardless of individual religious beliefs, this process must be approached with the reverence and respect that it deserves. 
I think for me it’s hiding a part of me. The part I think is my enthusiasm. I feel exposed when I contemplate raving about how good something is. My early life decision (re-made since) was, “I am unacceptable because I’m incompetent”.
I’m not sure about the expression of one part of me: my ability to critique and shred something. I’m quite careful to stick to the argument and not attack the person (but this is sometimes not appreciated). Also it is usually the guru’s (the Seth Godin’s of this world) who I’m impatient with. Mostly I do the shredding for myself and then write about the issues that I’ve found my way to – so people don’t see the critiquing part of me (usually). This is fine by me, because my interest is in using the critique to get to the guts of the issue – but it does mean that part of me is not publicly expressed.
I’m not sure about what to flaunt. My step is to write with more enthusiasm on the way to my dream of making my living doing what I love through blogging.
Thanks for a thought provoking post.
Tom,
I have been guilty of letting fear rule my decisions about authenticity. And I have been authentic to be courageous and fulfilled – but am now on my way to wealthy! It’s about time!
There are many people who are in the same place I was – and have yet to experience your coaching magic. I encourage all of those people to make their best effort to attend your event!
Blessings, Tom, and much success with this!
Keena
Evan – Thanks for your candor. Working a calling does require putting ourselves out there for critique. We have to stand for something in order for our authentic selves to express. I’ve seen you be very enthusiastic in supporting others and even in ideas. It’s only a small step to being boldly enthusiastic promoting your own concepts. Like you’ve shared, you’ve grown and are now able to withstand the feedback.
Keena – Thanks for your loving endorsement of my coaching work. You indeed were ready to bloom on all fronts and the money flowing is simply a result of your expression and readiness. Keep at it. The world needs your special service.
Tom, you said, “Authenticity enriches everything.” May I add, “Authenticity enriches everyone.”
1st Realization: My true calling/true self shines and is enriched in service to others.
2nd realization: When I am being the real me, being authentic, then I become the personification of “authenticity” and the above phrase becomes, “I enrich everything and I enrich everyone.” (and vice versa of course)
This is my very recent Aha! So, I will be putting it into play. Stay tuned for the results.
Thanks for all your provocative and compelling insights.
John
Thanks, Tom, for helping others to get the courage to be true to themselves!
There are so many who play small out of fear and it ends up causing so much more pain. Kudos for bringing more attention to this.
John – Thank you. I like your observation because authenticity like enthusiasm does indeed influence everyone and everything. Let’s live this day and all the days form here on out enthusiastically authentic.
Christine – Yes that’s the way I see my mission. I’ve opened the door to make it easier for folks to find their way through the fears and into authentic play.
“No holding back. No playing small. No hiding. No hesitation to help others find their own way.”
This sounds good but it doesn’t account for stupidity. What about the very many people (myself included) who were coached to reach for the stars and as a result lose gobs of money ans struggled for years pursuing business and relationship dreams that were just plain unrealistic and even stupid simply because they believed their authentic self would carry the day when authentic real world said otherwise.
I am 100% FOR personal coaching but I’m 100% AGAINST promoting a “if you can see you, you can have it…. the universe will help you get it” philosophy because we simply don’t see thousands of people each day shouting to the world on the web about reaching dreams.
Remember The Secret?…. where’s all the millions of people getting exactly what they wanted? They don’t. Choices are life and our corporeal needs are just plain more important than our fantasy wants.
I actually want MORE coaches to be available out there… but I want them to be REAL. People want, deserve, need, should, get help to live a fantastic life.
But being authentic means you have to honor the authentic world in which we live.
So I’m asking you to be more accountable to that.
John – Welcome. I can’t disagree with anything you say. However how do you know that I’m not accountable to authentic and realistic approaches? I’ve always coached folks in all four realms of their power. Many of the “Secret” attraction-type coaches do indeed overemphasize the emotional and intellectual realms and do not guide their clients in taking enough action. That’s not how I operate at all.
Go here and read these testimonials: http://www.coreu.com/testimonials/ Many of my clients love the fact that I ground them with real actions that produce results.
That said shooting high is good because it keeps us invested enthusiastically in what we want. If you ever want to experience a coach who has one foot in the stars and one firmly planted in earth. Give me a call.
Hi John,
If you want a theoretical approach like this, check out Perls, Hefferline and Goodman’s Gestalt Therapy – my all time favourite book: the (psychological) self IS the meeting of the person and their situation!
Your second question intrigues me, Tom. It’s nice seeing someone talk about flaunting a unique personality aspect – it’s a refreshing change to all the posts I have seen around lately about how “we are all one”, “we are all the same”.
Tom this blog really helped me on this love journey!
I keep bumping into truths surrounding this over the last few months:
We hide parts of who we really are.
I feel that I am living more authentically, boldly and starting into the courageous risk-taking lifestyle more (especially in regards to Spirit work)
I think somehow I am still ‘hiding something’ though I am not sure exactly what. I guess the word ‘exposure’ sounds so harsh and open to be stabbed or something. I am sensitive and very feeling so I naturally am PASSIONATE, and sometimes hesitant to be the BOLD gal that is emerging through into the light! I guess when I see the word ‘hide’ I think of dishonesty, and I feel that I am on a very truthful path honoring my highest values. So, I feel that I am honest and becoming more and more aligned with this center truth! I used to hide behind *food, *sociable people *even an image and was content that way, but more and more I feel pushed to BE ALL THAT I CAN BE.
So maybe I fear overwhelming others with my Expression to LOVE and be COMPASSIONATE for them! I have a HUGE heart and it is broken for the world! I could cry buckets of tears… yet at the same time I feel that I hold the healing light and the DESIRE to want to serve, help others and REASSURE and guide them back to their own light!
A lot of people cannot believe the genuineness in this and are not ready to receive it.. yet the very thing they crave they run from. I know, I did it. I told everyone else how worthy they were for years and gave the love that I needed for myself. Then, I finally came round circle and ‘returned to love’.. So now, I want to share this Love walk with others.. and celebrate everyone else’s homecoming.. now that I’m feeling the delight of this sacred journey.
Thank you for letting me share here.. I am so close to being ‘out there’.. so it is hard to hold this much PASSION and LIGHT inside.. and waiting for the next Spirit nudge. I have this huge sacred opening in my life right now.. and a divine project ready to birth through any moment.. and I’m unemployed and learning to ask, rely on others. and believe for ‘abundance and miracles for myself’.. its surreal yet wonderful altogether! Anyway, take care and thanks again for letting me share! You are such a light!! Namaste! Jenn
Today, I am going to paint. On another post about authenticity, I said I was going to develop my authentic artist. I’ve been working on that by learning to watercolor. I am loving it! So today, I shall paint!
Jen – I appreciate your candor. Please know this. You are a truly special and unique lover of life. What others think of you is none of your business or concern. Be who you are all the way and those who appreciate it will flock to support you. Please feel free to return and ask specific questions if any come up for you but the world needs your deep gladness, expressed your way. Be that person. Inspire us!
Laurie – I love your work and practice is key for a talent to flourish. be all of who you are. Paint to your greatest joy and be a fulfilled painter in the moment.
Hi Tom,
Authenticity and congruency, to say what you mean and mean what you say. Thanks for your post urging us to be all that we are. It is a path of discipline and steadfast witnessing, one that affirms our spiritual inheritance that allows us to stand up and be counted e plurabis unum, out of many one. I am not too sure that one may be in total congruence and authenticity without the realzation of our spiritual birthright as a child of God. Your post brought to mind Marianne Williamson’s thoughts on expressing our total selves:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson
Suzen – Welcome. That’s certainly my take on it. True calling is indeed a vocation and vocations are spiritually inspired. I’ve loved that passage for years and she nails it. Indeed that is our fear. But the beautiful thing is once we fully commit the fear resides and the calling expresses. It’s my honor to have you comment here. Thank you.